我感觉不到他。I CAN NOT FEEL HIM

What am i doing?
我到底在想什么哪？
Maybe i think too much.
可能是制作多情吧。

Today my stomach very very pain.
今天我肚子超痛的。
Pain until want to die.
痛得快死掉了～
I bear the pain.
我忍痛。
After i finish teaching dance.
教完舞蹈。
Me and my best sister back to my house for finishing the dance step.
我和姐妹到我家学完那一个舞蹈。
But she just stay here for a moment then have to go back because her dad and mum finish hiking.
可是很快的我姐妹的爸妈爬完山就载她回家了～
When i wanna back to my computer sit accidentaly bang to corner table and the bang is with my pain stomach!
当我要回到电脑前不小心撞到桌子的棱角还是撞到快痛得死掉的肚子呢！
I can not bear it anymore.
我不得再忍了～
I cry out.
我哭了～
Stupid right?
好蠢对吧？
I feel it too.
我也觉得。
Sms to him bacause want him some warm and sweet care.
传简讯给他因为好想要他的关心。
But....
可是...

Haiyo~
嗨哟～
Don think already.
别想了。
ELAINE CHEONG YI LING have to get back to your SPM TRIAL estate.
张瑜凌要赶快进入SPM试考状态！
CHEER! CHEER! CHEER!
加油！加油！加油！
Tomorrow will be fine!
明天会更美好！
Hehhehe^^
嘻嘻嘻^^

SMACK OF WAITING REALLY NOT GOOD. 等待的滋味真的不好受

I had study an article before.
我念过一篇文章。
Just say about this topic.
刚好说到这。

Life have many times is live through a word "WAITING"
人生有许多时光是在等中度过的。
Have thousand hundred kind of waiting.
有千百种等。
Have thousand hundred kind of smack.
有千百种滋味。
Smack of wait is a long story.
等的滋味最是一言难尽。

But I don't like the ehole shoot of wait.
不过我不喜欢一切的等待。
Whether is wait of good things, bad things, good of bad thing that haven even happen yet, among not good nor not bad, always have no other way.
无论所等的是好事, 坏事, 好坏未卜之事, 不好不坏之事, 就总是无可奈何的。
When waiting, a poise heart,this smack really not good.
等的时候, 一颗心悬着,这滋味真的不好受丫。

Even if waiting a eudaemonia.
就算等的是幸福。
Flighty look, Flighty sigh, in heart is considere for no reason.
忽而倚门翘望, 忽而卧床哀叹, 心中无端猜度佳人来也不来。
Awhile complain, awhile forgive, this situation look so bloodiness
一会儿怨, 一会儿谅, 那副神不守舍的模样委实惨不忍睹。

Have those expect make people excitement, faineant again make people fastidium, when it mix up the feel of ecitement and fastidium will become a frame of mind.
有所期待使人兴奋, 无所事事又使人无聊, 等便是混合了兴奋和无聊的一种心境。
Along with the time of extend waiting, ecitement will turn into tired, fastidium frame of mind will be lock-in a predominance.
随着等的时间延长, 兴奋转成疲劳,无聊的心境就会占据优势。
No matter waiting a good or bad things, all we wait the ending is clear.
无论等好事还是等坏事,所等的那个结果是明确的。

Actually angst is follow by one another oppose of emotion to form.
焦虑实际上是由彼此对立的情绪纠结而成。
Thereinto have a good result of hope as well as a bad result of apprehension.
其中既有对好结果的盼望,又有对坏结果的忧惧。
A heart of not just hang in mind air,and that will be agitated.
一颗心不仅悬在半空,而且七上八下。
Suffer in hard jounce.
大受颠簸之苦。

In despite of wait need how long or how much endurance, in life still have many things that is worthiness to wait through.
不管等多么需要耐心, 人生中还是有许多值得等的事情的。
Seem waiting your true love, waiting your friends that long time never meet, waiting your born out baby.
象是等情人, 等载着久别好友, 等第一个孩子出生, 等孩子。
If no do not have a word of "WAIT" where still have life?
如果没有等, 哪里还有人生?
See the sun have to wait something, even is wait much.
活着总得等待什么,哪伯是等待戈多。
Actually in our lifetime will have to wait something that oneself also do not know what is that.
事实上, 我们一生都在等待自己也不知道得什么。
Life is just like live in a waiting to open out and obtain a reason.
生活就在这等待中展开并且获得了理由。
Smack of wait unavoidable fastidium.
等的滋味不免无聊。
However, do not have any wait of life more fastidium.
然而, 一无所等的生活更加无聊。
Who do not have any wait is impossible.
一无所等是不可能的。
Even though when in a feel of do not wait any, we are still waiting, the person who wait those advent the time of days.
即使在一无所等的时候, 我们还是在等, 等那个有所等的时刻到来。

I HATE THIS FEEL!!! 我讨厌这感觉。

A feel i hate appere again.
一种我不喜欢的感觉又出现了。
A feel that i also don know how is it. Ache and downhearted feel.
一种不晓得什么感觉酸酸的,闷闷的感觉。
But can not express it out.
可是又表达不出。
Have any method to settle this emotion?
要怎么解决这种情绪哪？

Hope he will not hurt me again.
希望不要再伤害了。
I really no spirit to get hurt any more.
我真的没有勇气在伤害过了。
If i hurt once again i will very hard to stand up and back to normal.
如果在伤害多一次我真的好难再站起来了。

WHAT IS A FEEL OF LOVE? 爱是什么感觉哪？

A= a person that i am not sure about sensation of "HIM" B= a person that hurt me of "Him"
A=不确定感情的"他" B= 被伤害过的"他"

I think i already like one person.
我好想喜欢了一个人。
But i am not so sure is that a feel of "LIKE"?
可是又不确定那是不是"喜欢"?
Because my hurt from B had not recovery yet.
因为爱情伤还没痊愈。
So not dare to set foot on love line.
所以不敢在踏入另一个感情线上。
Scare will be a mistake when we start.
怕是错误的开始。
Or maybe i only interest on B
或只是对他感兴趣。

If really in love.
如果是真的喜欢。
Maybe not dare to get deep.
也不敢去。
Scare hurt.
怕伤害。
I am SCARE! SCARE! SCARE!
我 怕！怕！怕！

I got ask A about this.
我有问过A.
A also not sure.
A也说不确定。
Maybe also like.
应该也是喜欢吧～
Because before we get hurt by love so deeply.
因为我们之前都被爱伤害得好深。
Therefore we both not soooo sure.
所以我们也不确定。

A want to do well in his study,friends and dance.
A 想搞好学业,朋友,舞蹈。
And i want to do well in study,friends and church things.
我就想搞好学业，朋友，教堂的点滴。
A say now is not a right time to get together.
A说不是好时刻在一起。
So we use this time to get to know each other well.
所以我们只好吧这段时间更认识彼此。
Only think it.
在做打算。
Don't think too much first.
不要想太多先。
We do the best of know each other well.
我们尽量的去了解彼此。
I agree it.
我同意。

But i still wanna know what is love?
但我还是想晓得什么是爱？
Love is what feel?
爱是什么感觉了哪？
I like already don't know express my love anymore.
我好像已经表达不到我的爱意。
And also don't know how to express already.
也不懂怎么去表达了。

Love really make us confuse.
爱情真的挺头痛的。
More confuse than "BM"
还难搞过无哩嘛差的国文耶～
Haiz~
真是的！

HOW????!!!!!
怎么办丫???!!!

NORMAL DAY

This week have no tuition because this week is fifth week so rest.
Tomorrow only have science tuition.

WAKA!
Today sun had not raise up my schoolmate already send me message.
Lucky I have a habbit that before i sleep must switch off the phone (if do not have special thing happen) if not I will not have a good sleep!!!!
He is ask about when is the second math extra class
Aiyo~
See! Ask you all concentrate in class when teacher said something.
Not paying attention of schoolmate!
This what call school-life.
Hahahah^^

Today had two student never attend extra class.
RESON: Had something to do so not free to come.
LOL~
I think 99.9% lazy or can not wake.
Hahahh^^
Just "JOKING"!!!

Today does not have any special thing happen.
Just after extra school class then stay at house play facebook "RESTAURANT CITY" watch Taiwan drama "LAN QIU HUO <篮球火>"chat with friends in msn and did some revision.

Tell you something.
Today my appetite special good.
Today i eat alot!
Hahahh^^
Today i sure very very very ***FAT***!!!
T_T~

OKIE.
Have to study now.
Elaine Cheong GA YAO!!!
All of my friends CHEER!!!
CHEER every every every ONE!!!

CHEER CHEER CHEER!!!!!!!!!
GA YAO GA YAO GA YAO!!!!

ELAINE CHEONG ALREADY STAND UP!!!!

Really long time never come up here and write.
Cause i'm scare i will be cry once again.

But now i will not cry for this regret happen anymore.
I slowly slowly little by little forget him.
Although once in while i still will toss and turn the present that he gave me or the paper he wrote to me and think back our memory.
But then when i do all this I did not weep anymore.
I already did a very big step for it.
No more hurt and sad.
No more painful.
Compare last time more cheerfulness.
Maybe for this happen i'm already numbly.
So even how many time i saw or think already unmeaning.
Now i enjoy my single life.

Now is my summer holiday.
Although now having holiday have a bit not use to it that without him.
However i have to clear-headed and have to use to it that my life already without him anymore.
Reinvent back to my origin.
Who ever still saw my blog.
I want to say sorry for not updating my blog.
Now you all no need worry anymore^^
I already set a foot on what i am suppose to do.
And back to a place that i always laugh and back to a gang of friends who always support me and worry me.

In this realationship although is my fault.
And already regret and change it.
What i can do or help you i already try my best to do and help you already.
Attacca will lay on to god.
Let god decide and plan it.

ELAINE CHEONG YI LING ALREADY BACK!!!
MUST WELCOME ME BACK O!!!
HHAHAHAH^^

I always ask myself :~
"Who is my true love?
When he will be appear?
How is he?
He will be what kind of boy?
Make me very curious.
But how i curious am i, i also must wait for the time.
Who also will never know.
Only god will know.
God will decide and plan everthing..
Maybe is him again.
Maybe is someone else.
Hehheheh^^
Whatever is.
The best thing is lay everything to god and believe him."

He already long time never back to church gathering.
Hope he will be back to this big family as fast as posssible.
We will always welcome you and never leave you.
Must believe in god and always pray.

At last wish you happy and healthy o~!!!^^

SORRY~ I REJECT SOMEONE AGAIN.FEEL I AM BAD.

How?
I feel i am more and more bad.
Reject him and him and him and him.
Until now i already reject more than 3 person already.

Before they dangle or say about boyfriend.
Sure will let them know that:~
"I'm waiting and expect someone come back to me."

If they still ask me i will say:~
"You know i'm waiting and expect someone come back to me."
So i will not accept anyone until the waiting dateline is over.
For the moment my heart only have him.
No matter how hard to over come every single days or over come problems for the sake of him i must CHEER UP!!!"

Now i just want t say really very sorry to you you you you you you you and you.
Really really really sorry and apologize.
Hope understand.

I know reject and becoming so mean.
Some days or lastly will get back to me again.
But then ...hope understand me.

Now i am getting more and more less friends especially boy.
Even girl also the same.
Now in classroom become more lonlely.

Before i am a happy girl,easy make many friends,like to talk alot.
But now i do not know why i am so hard to get new friends.
Even i get a new friends i also do not know what i want to talk to them or let them chat with me not so boring.
Old friends also start less topic to talk already.

Haiz~
Regret,do wrong,not mature,wrong feel will revenge back to oneself.
I am part of it.

So do not do sencond version of me.
You just will hate oneself and feel the person you wait like normal feeling.

ELAINE CHEONG CHEER! CHEER! CHEER!